A year, introspectively summarized A primal and gravitational feeling is the feeling of belonging--- though the whole sense of "purpose" is artificial, defined deliberately by people who want others to emulate them. Emulation stunts creativity, just as the proclivity to belong stunts agency. I am delighted by the platform that I am given to practice my agentic self, now and continuously onward. There will be a time when t he basis of your understanding, you learn, was fabricated---even some of your strongest beliefs need reinterpretation, the very framework under which you operate proves inflexible and restrictive. Perhaps the best remediation strategy then is desensitization of the action-oriented part of your mind. You must compromise scaling for precision. In January, I wrangled with partial differential equations and AI Safety fundamentals course with BlueDo...
Impinging upon a full year in New York is a whimsical sentiment, I feel these foreign faces have imprinted a familiar shade on me. Let me tell you, Reader, of a story when I was 11. Cindy, my only close acquaintance in elementary school in Toronto, had haughtily told her mom in English that Lisa hasn't ever read Nancy Drew nor Geronimo Stilton books. That, in comparison, she has finished both series and enjoyed them. She knew that I couldn't understand English well enough to answer her articulately in English, much less to read those books. It was my 4th month in the North American continent. Perhaps it was her effort to impress her mom, or a childish tease at an immigrant's poor English--- she succeeded. Her mom said that her Cindy is the smartest, and some children can't read yet. Cindy's mom wanted to see me hurt, so she said it loud and clear, in Chinese. But I was the Head Girl in Beijing! My fragile ego felt tremors. (Interestingly, they never warn yo...
"Mimicry is the purest form of appraisal, and replication is the utmost act of idolization" For a very long time I believed that by perfecting a set of moral codes or institutionalized doctrines, I would nimbly align to an superego self. The truth is, these doctrines and codes deem inherently oppressive, and are widely accepted because they are oppressive. By conforming, the mind dulls and dwells in the sweet confines of amorphous hierarchical structure. This structure is very much alike elitist organizations and associations. Much of the world's elitist associations are self-proclaimed, their importance inflated, are prone to pragmatism, and oft lack prudence. Be very careful if you find yourself in such a situation. Much of the world's population behaves as an enactment, a result, an afterthought of the contemporary social turbulence. What I mean is that, for example, in making strides of great technological advancement to have information dispersal, the adverse ef...
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